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Uh-oh… things took a dark turn this week on The White Lotus as lies and petty jealousies started to pile upand we’re officially worried about who’s going to survive next week’s finale.
As the sun rises on Sunday’s episode, Albie and Lucia are still going at it, and Ethan is still sulking. Harper whines, “I feel like you don’t believe me. It’s starting to drive me crazy.” She points out they’re not always honest with each other — including about how they’re not attracted to each other anymore. (Whoa.) She worries that “maybe something has died” between them: “We are too young to be this old.” But Ethan insists he’s just stressed from work and he still loves her. She can only scoff at that, though. Meanwhile, Daphne teases Cameron about Harper’s accusations: “What’d you do this time?” But he just says he “partied hard,” and they giggle and cuddle, because apparently, infidelity is like foreplay to these two.
At the villa, Tanya is reeling from what she saw the night before and warns Portia to slow things down with Jack. She has “a strong hunch” Quentin is not his uncle. (Uh, ya think?) Dom and Bert plan a drive out to the old country to trace their family roots, and Albie has lined up a translator for them… and it’s Lucia! First, though, she and Mia corner Ethan in the lobby asking for their money as Harper looks on from afar. Albie introduces Lucia to Dom, and they act like they’ve never met — well, they’ve done a lot more than that — and on the drive, Lucia tells Bert she works in “hospitality.” (That’s technically true!) Oh, and it’s Valentina’s birthday, and she’s delighted when Isabella agrees to meet her after work for a celebratory drink.
While Quentin plans to throw a big party in Tanya’s honor, Portia and Jack escape to the countryside; when she asks if he has any goals, he just laughs. He treats every day as a gift and doesn’t get bogged down by worries or plans, which is pretty much the opposite of Portia’s outlook. On the beach, Daphne leaves to get a massage, and Harper volunteers to go get drinks with Cameron, leaving Ethan to stew as he watches the two of them laugh together. Lucia finds where Dom’s relatives are living, but she also spots Alessio following them. She gets into an argument with him, and although Dom and Albie try to protect her, she insists on leaving with Alessio, assuring Albie she’ll see him tonight. Meanwhile, Ethan gets back from a swim to find Harper and Cameron gone (she texted that she went to get her hat), and when he goes back to his room, it’s locked with a deadbolt. He pounds on the door, and Harper claims she did it by accident, but the door between their room and Cameron’s is open, too… and Ethan’s mind is racing out of control.
Dom, Bert and Albie track down their distant relatives, but they’re not greeted warmly: The Italians don’t speak any English, and an old lady chases them off and curses them while shaking an artichoke at them. Ethan is suspicious of Harper’s sudden good mood, but she says Cameron explained everything and cleared Ethan’s name. (Plus, Daphne teases that her masseuse looked like Timothée Chalamet with muscles, which drives Cameron into a passionate frenzy.) Jack gets too drunk at lunch, which starts to spoil Portia’s infatuation with him, and Quentin escorts Tanya to the party, adding that she’s lined up some arm candy for her: a “well hung” gentleman named Nicolo who offers them some lines of coke — and Tanya happily partakes.
Valentina is ready for her birthday drink with Isabella, but then Isabella asks her if she can assign Rocco back to the front desk — because Rocco is her boyfriend. In fact, they’re engaged! A heartbroken Valentina cancels their plans and heads to the bar for a Martini, while a fuming Ethan warns Cameron, “Stop flirting with my wife.” Bert is devastated their relatives didn’t welcome them (“There is no homecoming… not for me, anymore”) and wallows in booze while watching Mia play the piano, complimenting her beautiful voice. Mia joins Valentina at the bar, offering to celebrate her birthday with her. “I’ve never been with a woman,” Valentina confesses, and she pushes Mia away when she tries to kiss her. But she does give her a key to an empty hotel suite…
Lucia complains to Albie that Alessio won’t let her go unless he gets a lot of money, adding, “I wish all men were like you.” In the suite, Mia sings “Happy Birthday” to Valentina before pushing her down on the bed to give her a special birthday gift. Jack is too drunk to drive home, so an annoyed Portia has to just take him back to the hotel. Ethan is haunted by vivid visions of Harper and Cameron having sex as he and Harper go to bed. And Tanya ends up in a villa bedroom with Nicolo, where they make out. He steps away for a minute, and she takes a look at Quentin’s photos — including one that looks like a young Quentin with a young… Greg? Wearing a cowboy hat? So Tanya’s husband is Quentin’s long-lost cowboy crush?!?
At the hotel, a drunk Jack admits Quentin isn’t really all that rich. In fact, he was about to have to sell his villa, but “he’s coming into money now, isn’t he?” (By bilking it out of Tanya, you mean?) He adds that Quentin helped him out when he “was in af—king hole”: “Sometimes you do things you don’t want to do.” Tanya is met by a stark naked Nicolo, who leads her to bed. Tanya? You in danger, girl.
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